35th annual Knott's Scary Farm

The 35th Knott's Scary Farm showed again why they are the biggest and the best.

Things had been down the last couple of years, but they really picked it up this year. Given my wife's pregnancy (27th week right now, beginning of the third trimester), we knew we would have to take it slow and probably leave early, but we were just glad to go, perhaps, one last time for a while.

We began, as is our habit, with the annual stuffing of the gut at the Pre-Scare Buffet. Seriously, 12.95 to eat as much of their famed fried chicken and drink as much of their boysenberry punch? Yes, please! Several scare-actors wandered over to do their thing and we actually talked with them briefly, telling them we were haunt veterans and that we appreciated what they did. That seemed to go over really well, as they both saw us and recognized us later that night in the park. One of them also revealed that Saturday night was a sellout (40,000 people, or about) but tonight should be nice as only 16,000 were projected. It pays to go on a Sunday.

We walk into the park about 6:20 or so and they are just wide open. I'm feeling too stuffed to hit Ghostrider, but for some reason, Silver Bullet sounds okay...nearly paid for that one. By the time I got off the ride, Knott's had begun letting other people in, so we hustled over to the mine car ride...I mean, Black Widow's Cavern. I haven't been happy with the mine care for 3-4 years, but I was very impressed with the strong retheming this year. A number of animitronic spiders, the giant spider in the glory hole, it all worked. And I don't like spiders. So haunt began strongly and we had high hopes for the rest of the night.

Pyromaniax was something of a let down after Black Widows' Cavern. No theming in the line or the boarding station. Inside, some generic industrial music, some "mutant firefighters," flashing red lights and some animatronic crashed helicopters. Where's the fire? Even fake fire? It's called Pyromaniax, right? Serious let down and Amanda didn't miss anything by not being able to go on it.

From there it was onto mazes. First up was Killer Klown Kollege. First of all, the entrance looked like you were walking into the bathrooms next to the Xcellerator entrance. A bit odd. The maze itself wasn't bad, but I think this clown theme has sort of played out by now. Good scare-actors, good strong theme, most of the humor was actually funny, but it just seemed slightly tired. Not good for a "new" maze.

Okay, strong start, two not so quite amazing attractions, we aren't proving Knott's dominance in this Halloween game are we? It just so happened we hit probably the two most dissapointing attractions right off the bat. It was pretty much kick-ass from there.

Next was Lost Vegas in 3-D...where we suddenly realized that we had left our 3D glasses (all four pairs!) at home. Oh well. The show must go on. The maze had been reworked some from last year and it was an improvement. All the scare-actors really brought energy to their work and really took the maze up to the next level. Some of those undead dancers were kinda gruesomely hot...and that's the kind of creep they should be shooting for in this maze.

Up next was the maze that has been my favorite the last several years, 13 Axe Murder Manor. The detailing on this maze is just incredible. Combined with excellent work from the scare-actors and once again, it's at the top of my list. I just love the Lizzie Borden meets the Haunted Mansion sort of vibe in this maze. Really great theme combined with good scare-actors combined with amazing details makes for a great maze. I hope they not only continue with this maze, but continue to make small additions and changes every year so that it continues to improve.

We had high hopes for The Doll Factory and they were mostly met. The beginning really seemed to just be recycling all the industrial sets they've used over the years. I understand the "Factory" part of the equation, but it seemed forced to me. Once we got to the dolls however...wow, they were creepy. Major kudos to the female doll scare-actors. Fantastic work from them, perhaps the best in the park. The ending in particular was really creepy, with spooky variations on "now I lay me down to sleep" being played on the speakers. I'm hoping that next year they leave out some of the factory stuff and add more creepy dolls...maybe a warehouse full of life-sized dolls?

From there we saw the "Death of Dr. Cleaver," a comedy show that actually was somewhat amusing. More than anything though, it allowed Amanda to get off her feet for a while. After every couple of mazes she had to sit down to rest for a few minutes. She probably ought not to have gone, but she wanted to go and she wanted to go for me. Gotta love her.

We had time before it was time for The Hanging, so we went to Red Beard's Revenge. I love pirates and this maze has awesome potential...but it never has seemed to live up to it for some reason. I really don't know why. Solid design, good details, good scare-actors. But there's something to it that just hasn't let it go to "Maze of the Year" status. And that's just too bad.

After that was The Hanging. Not as good this year. Every year, there are a few jokes that we just don't get because we are too old essentially. Nothing different this year. Last year, they went away from the comedy somewhat and made the show darker and I liked it. Not so this year, back to the full force comedy. And it just wasn't as funny. I mean, the guy they hung deserved it and all, but he wasn't the most timely choice. Not to mention, the overall "Mad Max" theme for the show. Half the people in the audience weren't even born when any of those movies came out. Poor choice there, but for all that, the show wasn't bad.

Gotta mention while I can, the extra details scattered about. The extra ambience around the park was great this year. This illusion in the undertaker's office, the dead-guy rising in the Hearst, the "ghost rider" animatronic, the various decorations were spot on this year. Excellent work there. And while I'm at it, the wandering monsters were all doing great work from what we saw. More than I would have expected for a Sunday night and they had good energy for a Sunday night.

Anyway, after The Hanging, it was off to the new Beowulf maze. Awesome. As an English teacher and as someone eagerly awaiting the movie, I was really happy to see the maze follow the movie which is following the story. Awesome Grendel's, both animatronic and costumed, best of the night. The smoke belching dragon at the end was great too. Best of all? Best scares of the night. The scare-actors really did a great job and really provided the best scares of the night.

Not much left now. We hit the venerable Lore of the Vampire and were pleasantly suprised. The maze has been one of the lamer mazes the last few years, really, since they moved to their current location. But finally they updated and rearranged the maze and it was a very pleasant suprise.

By this point, Amanda was really starting to drag. We decided to skip Dark Realm-Laser Rage and when she saw the long line for The Gudge 2, we decided to skip that also. Neither of us has seen those movies and so half the creepiness (we went last year) is lost upon us. That really only left two mazes left.

Feary Tales in 3-D was good as usual. It seemed to lose something without the 3D glasses, but still cool. I think it mixes horror, humor and just flat-out bizareness quite well.

We did kinda end on a down note; The Asylum just wasn't up to par this year. It began with the facade; it was attached directly to a corrugated steel building. Um, no. Just didn't work and broke the illusion even before you walked in. The maze itself didn't seem to work either in it's new space. Previously, the jam packed nature of it really added to the claustrophobic elements of the maze. It was just too wide open now, stretched out, and it didn't seem to work.

With that, we were done. Amanda was tired and her feet hurt and we had done everything we really wanted to. Well, aside from the Sierra Sidewinder coaster, but that'll be better when Amanda can join me on the ride anyway.

All told, improved from last year. I'd also say that even those mazes that didn't quite live up to expectations aren't beyond redemption. If Lore of the Vampire can be redeemed, maybe even killer klowns can be too. I'm very pleased to have gone and if this is it for a while, it'll be a nice set of memories to hang onto until our children are old enough to either pawn off on grandparents or even join us.

GO!